Month: April 2022

Categories
Podcast Sperm Donation

Golden State

This is a long video, but it’s absolutely fascinating and amazing—how they caught the Golden State Killer, Joseph DeAngelo.

Just to be clear: I’m thrilled he was caught! But it’s crazy that the same technology used to find this evil man was also used to find me, a private, law-abiding citizen.

What’s even wilder is that DeAngelo actually had more privacy rights than me on Ancestry.com and 23andme. The data from those sites can’t be used for crime fighting–he was found through a separate, much smaller site that is similar to the big two, but users have to explicitly opt-in to allow their data to be used for law enforcement. His capture was delayed by a couple of years because he had privacy rights that I didn’t.

Categories
Podcast

Privacy Nonsense

Came across this review of Biohacked today:

Keeping promises made to people (sperm donors) isn’t nonsense.

Categories
Sperm Donation

I don’t have to tell you anything. But I will give you health records.

Great discussion about sperm donor privacy on The Gist Podcast today. Thanks Mike Pesca for cutting to the heart of the matter.

After I talk to other sperm donors, my opinions might evolve, but my belief is:

  • There are reasonably good arguments for donor conceived individuals to get updated health records about their sperm donors. I really don’t have an issue with that.
  • Donor conceived individuals have no right whatsoever to any other information about their sperm donors, if the donor doesn’t want to give it out.

The donor conceived individual who tracked me down, in the same way that the Golden State Killer was found using familial DNA matching, informed that, in her belief, I had no right to privacy whatsoever. I found her entitled attitude to be jaw-droppingly counterproductive.

Categories
Podcast

Biohacked Podcast

My story is being told today on TJ Raphael’s podcast Biohacked: Family Secrets. She’s a great journalist–every single word uttered was fact checked, and every detail of the story came from multiple sources.

I hope you enjoy listening.

That being said, there is a lot more to the story that TJ wasn’t able to get to tell, because she’d have had to talk to Karen. I’ll be sharing more in due course.

Categories
Site News

Why is this site needed?

After all, other major websites already cater to the this topic:

Many sperm donors have joined these and other sites and gotten great support. But they cater to the interests of the donor-conceived and sperm donors who don’t mind going public. It’s my belief that the vast majority of sperm donors do not want their identities revealed.

I have genuine empathy for those who finding out by surprise that the father who raised them didn’t contribute DNA. I know many donor conceived individuals feel immense curiosity about their donors. Many donors will happily make contact with you, and that’s great. However:

Many sperm donors do not want contact with their offspring.

This site is for those guys, and people who understand that this point of view is equally valid.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an absolutist. While some sperm donors may want no contact at all whatsoever, others may agree to limited amounts such as:

  • revealing medical information only
  • limited amounts of contact
  • limited means of contact (email only, phone only)

Not every sperm donor wants to go on TV, filmed at long table with twenty of his offspring. For me personally, the thought gives me nightmares.

Categories
Site News Sperm Donation

Introducing the Donor Privacy Initiative

Americans believe in privacy. On any poll that relates to the topic, no matter how the question is phrased, large supermajorities of over 70% agree about its importance.

Most sperm donors, particularly those who donated decades ago, were promised lifetime anonymity. The decision they made to donate was based on that promise. Yet modern DNA test kits have allowed the curious genetic offspring of sperm donors to play detective and find out the identities of people they would never have been able to through any legal channels.

I think that most Americans, if they stopped and thought about this issue for a minute, would agree that something isn’t quite right about this.

I have a story that is soon going to be told and I hope it brings people around to a different point of view.